Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
