We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
