Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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