You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i now understand why vodka
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
wow bdsm is so cute
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