i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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