Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
