Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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