I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
