i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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