one two three fourrrrnication!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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