You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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