Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
