the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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