Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
