just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
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