this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
