I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize