Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
