capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
