you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
