im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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