Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
