So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
