I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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