he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Damn victory sex feels great
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
