Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
