I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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