I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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