i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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