real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
