never play flip cup with pint glasses
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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