You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
