I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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