do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
