I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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