i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
