my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
