So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
