U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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