My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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