He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
