His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
