another moral hangover. fuck.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We need to get me chipped asap
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
