No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
this will be a night to untag.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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