He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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