First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
did you just send me my own nude
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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