You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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