Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i now understand why vodka
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize