16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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