if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
