I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
