I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
