Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
