i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
