When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
