I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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