drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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