and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
